Where to start? I am not as good at this keeping everything up-to-date as I wanted to be. Our holiday vacation was great. We got too much and had too little time to enjoy all out family and friends. A lot has happened with our infertility quest over the last two months. Before I go any farther please understand that writing this is a way for my to deal with my emotions concerning our struggles and I hope one day to look back at this with my children and let them know how special they are to me and how I grew in my relationship with Christ through this journey.
In late January I had another surgery to try and “help” with conceiving. After the surgery I resumed my medication and in early February we completed our first round of IUI. After waiting the longest sixteen days of my life (or at least it seemed that way) we found out that it was not successful. I have been going through a gamut of emotions. It is a funny thing though; I have a peace about me that I know could come from no one else but the Lord! I was really afraid of how upset that I would be if the IUI didn’t work, but that wasn’t an issue. You can call it a mother’s intuition if you like but I knew in my heart that the last round wasn’t or didn’t work long before I took the final pregnancy test. But like I said, I am at peace about it. The Lord keeps sending my subtle messages that remind me “His grace is sufficient for today.” And I know that today is all that I need to focus on. Psalm 37:4 says Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. The great thing about being a Christian is I know that the Lord hasn’t broken a promise yet! (AMEN)
So with that being said, I go back to the doctor tomorrow and we are going to try it all over again. He made mention of using some different medications the next time around for better results so I guess we will see what he has in store. As for me and my husband (a beloved and truly supportive man) we will keep our eyes on the Lord and know that He knows the exact number, gender, even hair color, of our future children and HE will bring them to us when he sees fit.