Where to start? I am not as good at this keeping everything up-to-date as I wanted to be. Our holiday vacation was great. We got too much and had too little time to enjoy all out family and friends. A lot has happened with our infertility quest over the last two months. Before I go any farther please understand that writing this is a way for my to deal with my emotions concerning our struggles and I hope one day to look back at this with my children and let them know how special they are to me and how I grew in my relationship with Christ through this journey.
In late January I had another surgery to try and “help” with conceiving. After the surgery I resumed my medication and in early February we completed our first round of IUI. After waiting the longest sixteen days of my life (or at least it seemed that way) we found out that it was not successful. I have been going through a gamut of emotions. It is a funny thing though; I have a peace about me that I know could come from no one else but the Lord! I was really afraid of how upset that I would be if the IUI didn’t work, but that wasn’t an issue. You can call it a mother’s intuition if you like but I knew in my heart that the last round wasn’t or didn’t work long before I took the final pregnancy test. But like I said, I am at peace about it. The Lord keeps sending my subtle messages that remind me “His grace is sufficient for today.” And I know that today is all that I need to focus on. Psalm 37:4 says Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. The great thing about being a Christian is I know that the Lord hasn’t broken a promise yet! (AMEN)
So with that being said, I go back to the doctor tomorrow and we are going to try it all over again. He made mention of using some different medications the next time around for better results so I guess we will see what he has in store. As for me and my husband (a beloved and truly supportive man) we will keep our eyes on the Lord and know that He knows the exact number, gender, even hair color, of our future children and HE will bring them to us when he sees fit.

Christmas Party

We had our Lady’s Christmas party last night at church and it was great! I am reminded again why it is so important to have a great Christian support system. I went last night to eat some good food and draw a name for secret Santa next year and left with so much more. In the Bible there is reference to an armor bearer. This person was not just some insignificant person. He was chosen to stand behind you and protect your back, repair your armor, and just basically prepare you for battle. This is what I learned…or was taught by a great speaker, that God never sends us anywhere or through anything alone! We have an armor bearer that is with us everyday, the Holy Spirit. I now that God is always with us. I learned that when I was two. But I didn’t really take to heart that the Lord loves me so much that HE would pick someone very special to “watch my back” and to help prepare me for all of life’s battles.
So as you can see it was much more than a Christmas party it was a moment that God used to help calm my heart and fears, and for that I want to say thank you!

Now it is time to get everyone up to speed! I am currently working at Southern Arkansas University as the assistant athletic trainer and an ATEP (athletic training education program) instructor. This actually is working out great because Chris is getting to finish his school for free!!! He still lacks three semesters, which includes his student teaching, which means that he will be graduating in May 2010. He will be a certified teacher and coach when he is done. It is safe to say that we (Chris and I) are in a close race to who will be happiest when he is done! Anyway, because of me getting the job at SAU we are able to see each other a lot more. Some days we even get to eat lunch together and that used to be unheard of!
As many of you may know, Chris and I had decided that we were ready to start a family about two years ago and if you know much about science you should figure out that we are having some trouble. We decided to see an infertility specialist this past fall. We have been told that they think that they can help us. I am currently taking my second round of medication. We will try this again for a couple of months and then if still no success we will move one to more aggressive measures such as IUI or invitro. This has been a pretty big emotional stress on me but Chris seems to be taking it in stride. He is always my anchor. God really knew that I would need a man like Chris in my life.
In many ways I am glad that we have been going through this struggle. 1. It has brought Chris and I much closer together with each other and in our walk with Christ. 2. We are learning that all things in life are a gift from God, one His time and in His way. 3. We are determined that once God blesses us with children we will raise them to honor and glorify him. I don’t want to sound all “biblically smart” I promise all who have not been living this day to day with us that these realizations sis not happen over night. Many thanks to my mom for all the wisdom that she instills in me on a daily basis, but the best is Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart! How awesome is it to not only hear that but know that He does what He says!! It’s just great.
Anyway, we will keep you up to speed on our process. The best news of today is that Chris and I are getting to go on a holiday vacation! Yay for us. We are going to Hilton Head, SC on December 19 and will be coming back to my parent’s house on Christmas Eve. Stay around for vacation pictures!

I am going to try!

I am going to try to keep up a blog! I love the idea of being able to allow friends and family a peak into our everyday lives. The main problemis that I have a hard time staying focused and am afraid that I will forget to keep it updated. So I guess there is nothing wrong with trying something new.........so here it goes.